When I present at conferences, one of the most popular questions asked is, “How can I teach sportsmanship to my students?” This is usually followed by a story of arguments during recess, or how P.E. is riddled with accusations of cheating or unfair play. For the Montessori teacher, sportsmanship is essentially grace and courtesy within the physical education setting. However, I believe a major reason that sportsmanship is so hard to teach to students is because the concept is actually very hard to define.

When asked, “what is sportsmanship?” most student’s answers will be concrete examples of how to be a good sport. For example, students will say things like “congratulating others” and “shaking hands at the end of the game.” Some students will give concrete examples of how to be a “bad sport.” These concrete examples are important, because it proves that the student knows how to be a good sport, and most of the time the how is good enough. We know how to use lots of things, but we often do not why they work (cell phones, computers, toilets, etc.).

We want the students to have a clear working definition of sportsmanship. In this way, they will be able to judge individual actions based on the definition of sportsmanship instead of having to compare an action to another action they know represents good sportsmanship. They will now have the ability to analyze their own behavior and determine if they are “being a good sport.” When they make a mistake and do not treat people kindly, we can remind them of the definition, and then ask them whether they were fulfilling sportsmanship or not.

So what is this magic definition? For our lower elementary students:

“Be fun to play with. Be fun to play against.”

If they can follow that tenant, then they will automatically exhibit 99% of the behaviors that we hope to see out of someone who is displaying good sportsmanship.

Being Fun to Play With

Being fun to play with means sharing the ball or material. This gives other players more chances to play, so they will invite that player to play with them more often. People will like playing with them because they are good at sharing. Coaches like players who are fun to play with because they enhance team unity. If the coach likes them, they will get to play more than the player(s) the coach does not like (whether this is fair or not, itis the truth). When someone makes a mistake, a player who is fun to play with doesn’t make that player feel bad or worse, and instead encourages them to try again. People who are having fun and enjoy what they are doing are generally more fun to play with, so having fun is important as well.

Being Fun to Play Against

Being fun to play against means that the player plays hard and does not quit. This encourages high-level competition, which encourages growth. No one likes when someone leaves a game prematurely, especially if they leave because they were losing. Players who are fun to play against are respectful to players, teachers, coaches, and officials before, during, and after the game. Players who are fun to play against do not cheat to win; they play by the rules and are fair. Players who are fun to play against do not complain when they lose a game, and do not rub it in when they win.

For our older students (upper elementary or middle school), we add one more definition to sportsmanship:

“Value the Long Term Over the Short Term.”

We do not want them to forget the first rule, however. Even if they are only fun to play with or against, they will be fine. However, this added element gives them advice not only about sportsmanship, but life in general.

The long-term goal of a sport is a championship; the short- term goal is a game. The students should come to understand that there may be several opportunities to play for a championship, but there will be a tremendous amount of opportunities to play games. If this is a metaphor for life, championships are graduating from different levels of school, or getting the first car, house, etc. Games are like classes and tests, or projects for work.

If an athlete is thinking about the long term, they will want to be fun to play with (this directly connects to the previous idea from lower elementary). If they get along with their teammates, they will have a better chance of winning a championship. Internal friction between players on a team hurts the ability for a team to win a championship. Rarely do we see successful teams where the players do not like each other or do not get along. We know lots of examples of teams that become so close they are almost like family, and even if they are not successful in getting to a championship (but they will have a much better chance), their outlook on the season will be much more positive.

Athletes should not sacrifice the long term for the short term. Winning a game at all costs (cheating) usually hurts the ability to win a championship later. This is true especially if officials or other coaches become privy to this cheating because the team’s reputation is forever damaged. However, cheating robs the team of actually knowing how good they are, and what they need to improve on. For teams to win championships, improvement is vital. If a team keeps winning by cheating, they will eventually encounter a team they cannot beat by cheating, and they will have no resources to win since they never learned anything else.

Berating a teammate who did not do well in one game will carryover into other games, which could hurt the chance of winning a championship. If someone makes a mistake, at worst they should feel bad for a game. However, if a teammate is extra mean to them, they will feel bad for the season, which ruins that players season, and possibly the team’s. Propping up players who are hard on themselves after a poor performance could actually enhance team unity, improving the chances of that team working together.

The athlete that a player plays against today may become a teammate later in high school or college (and maybe a great friend). Athletes remember how it was to play against their opponents, especially if they were close in skill. It essentially is an unintentional first impression, and it color future interactions. This year, our 8th grade girls basketball team helped another school by taking their two 8th grade girls basketball players. If we had not done so, those two would not have been able to play this season because they had too few players. Even though we could be considered rival schools, this opportunity was possible because both our schools have good reputations and we respect each others players. Our opponent last year became our teammate this year.

Finally, if we are thinking of the long term, then we must accept when we are defeated and not blame others (refs, coaches, cheating, etc.) If we accept the defeat, then we can truly look at how to improve. That improvement can be a catalyst that will enable the team to win a championship in the future because of the loss they suffered today. There are several sports where a team can lose forty or fifty games and still win a championship. Improvement takes time, whether as an individual or team. It takes years of training to become truly good at skill. It usually takes many games, or even seasons, before a team truly shows their potential. We value long-term growth over short-term wins.

I have a free lesson for lower and upper elementary that will help teach sportsmanship to your students. This is typically my first lesson of the year for all my classes, but it can be used at any time throughout the year when needed. Many people have already downloaded it, but I would love to get your feedback. if you do use it, please let me know what you think in the comments section.