When I present at conferences, one of the most common questions is, “How can I teach sportsmanship to my students?” This question is usually followed up by a short anecdote about their student arguing, cheating accusations, and unfair play. This question pops up on Facebook groups all the time. In the Montessori setting, the question of sportsmanship could be restated as, “How do I teach Grace and Courtesy in PE?” This begs the question, why is it so challenging to teach sportsmanship?

Come up with a definition for sportsmanship right now as quickly as possible. If you are having trouble creating a good, succinct definition, imagine how much harder it is for the students to do it. Don’t feel bad, though, because the concept is hard to understand. We (teachers and students) do a much better job describing how to show good sportsmanship or what poor sportsmanship looks like. What we are after is articulating sportsmanship as a set of beliefs, not a list of behaviors.

For our lower elementary students, we define sportsmanship as “be fun to play with, be fun to play against.” If they can follow this simple statement, they will exhibit 99% of the behaviors we hope to see out of someone who we would consider “a good sport.” Reasons why we want to be fun to play with include:

·      Being fun to play with gives that person more opportunities to play. Suppose people enjoy playing with a specific person. In that case, they will more likely extend an invitation to play with them more often. This also means you probably have more friends, because you will be invited to play more often.

·      Coaches (and teachers) like players who are fun to play with because they enhance team unity. If the coach likes you, you have a better chance of making the team and getting more playing time. Teachers (and students) like students who participate in a group activity.

·      Someone who plays their hardest is fun to play with as long as everyone else tries hard. If everyone gives their best individual effort, the group has a better chance of success. If one person is not trying hard and everyone is, that teammate is not fun to play with. Conversely, suppose everyone plays for fun, and one person plays seriously. In that case, they will not be fun to play with either.

·      Being fun to play with involves as many teammates as possible while trying to be successful. Therefore, the more people feel involved, the more fun will have.

·      Players who are fun to play with make their teammates feel good. Whether incorporating them more in the overall gameplay, complimenting them on a job well done, or offering encouragement during mistakes, all these actions make teammates feel good. There is a famous quote that students don’t remember what teachers taught them; they remember how a teacher made them feel, and the same goes for teammates.

Reasons why we “want to be fun to play against” include:

·      Doing your best. Someone who works hard and tries their best encourages higher-level competition with whomever they play. When the level of competition is close, games are more fun. Playing against an opponent of a similar skill level encourages growth, making one a better player over the long term. Playing against someone who quits halfway through a game is not fun. It is no fun to play against someone who is not trying.

·      Players who are fun to play against are respectful to opponents, coaches, and refs before, during, and after the game.

·      Players who are fun to play against do not cheat. They play by the rules and are fair.

·      Players who are fun to play against do not brag when they win and do not complain when they lose. Instead, they say good game to the players, coaches, and refs regardless of the outcome.

The mantra, “be fun to play with, be fun to play against,” works very well with younger-aged children. However, we need more nuance with upper elementary students’ students. Sometimes, people disagree, and both believe they are fun to play with and against. When we have this grey area, we must eliminate confusion and hurt feelings with one question. What was the intended outcome? I specifically say, “What did you want to happen?” This allows both parties to express why they did what they did, which clarifies intentions and removes the idea that someone was just being “mean.” For example, a player who criticizes an unaware teammate wants the teammate to play their hardest, which helps the whole team. However, the criticized teammate usually has feelings of hurt and does not want to play, which is an unacceptable outcome. When this player expresses how the criticism impacted them, this will help the criticizer grow by changing their approach to get their teammate to try harder. With a softer approach, the teammate will pay more attention, which is what the teammate wants, and the other player has no hurt feelings.

When we move on to middle school, they should still know the old mantra, but we will expound on this idea by adding the concept of time. For our older students, sportsmanship is “valuing the long term over the short term.” We start with examples within sports as to why valuing the long term over the short term is a good idea. Then, if there is adequate time for discussion, we can see how this mantra can be applied to other areas of life (relationships, money, business, etc.).

For example, in sports, I use these reasons why we should value the long term over the short term:

·      The long-term goal of a sport is a championship; the short-term goal is a game. The championship is much more important than any particular game. We don’t want to do anything to win a game that might jeopardize winning the championship.

·      The maintenance of relationships with our teammates becomes very important. We seek ways to get the most out of ourselves and our teammates, and positive interactions support good results. Friction between players always infects the whole team dynamic, reducing the chance of overall success. Berating a teammate who did poorly in one game will carry over into other games. We know that poor-performing player feels terrible about how they did. Still, those bad feelings should be temporary as they work hard to improve. When external negative feelings are added on by teammates who are being overly critical, an association between those bad feelings and the teammates is created, and that will not be temporary. Propping up players who are hard on themselves reassures them that the team has their back after a poor performance. This will enhance team unity, improving the chances of team cohesion and success.

·      An opponent today may be a teammate tomorrow. Someone we played against in grade school may be our teammate in high school. They may even become our best friends. So we don’t want to make a decision that could ruin that future relationship and tarnish our reputation.

·      Winning a game by cheating or dirty play has two severe negative ramifications that make it much harder to win in the long term. First, a team that cheats will create a reputation for cheating with other teams and referees. This is especially true if a team is caught cheating because its reputation has been tarnished for a long time. The second reason cheating prevents long-term success is the victory garnered through cheating will not improve the team over the long run. If they do not improve, they will lose games in the future. They could have won if they had worked on those weaknesses. Cheaters eventually get caught, and once they are, the chance of victory in the future is bleak.

·      We must accept when we are defeated, take responsibility, and not blame others (refs, coaches, cheating, etc.) When we lose, that is an opportunity to learn from our mistakes. When we learn from our mistakes, we can improve. The loss they suffered today can be a catalyst for the improvement they make tomorrow, which could be the difference in winning a championship. Losing is an essential part of the learning process. We must learn new things to improve, usually by overcoming adversity.

Every level of the game has an element of risk vs. reward and can be played successfully in multiple ways. However, the best way to play the game would involve as many teammates as possible. The lower elementary version is simple and a lot of fun. We ramp up the difficulty for upper elementary, and the middle school version has a twist at the end. I start every year at every grade level with this lesson. For my Montessori teachers, sportsmanship is grace and courtesy and needs to be established right at the start of the year. For my general education teachers, sportsmanship is SEL. Whenever I go to SHAPE America conferences, every topic expounds on the virtues of SEL. Use this lesson to set the tone of expectations with sportsmanship and automatically build into your practice SEL right from day one.

Materials:

·      An ample open space (such as a gym or field)

·      Several basketball hoops or 55-gallon waste bins

·      Large yoga balls (upper elementary and middle school)

·      Rubber Disc Dots (lower elementary)

·      Volleyballs

·      Hula-hoops (upper elementary and middle school if outside)

Minimum Number of Students Needed: This game requires your entire class to be practical. If you have a class of four, that is ok, but it shines with sixteen or more. 

Age: All Ages